Wedding in Punta Cana
Stay tuned for more photos from our Dominican vacation as we spent a week trekking through the countryside. We visited the north, south, and eastern regions of the Dominican Republic, including the the cities of Bani, Azua, Haina, San Cristobal, Samana, Barahona, Punta Cana, and the capitol, Santo Domingo. We saw valleys, mountains, beaches, cities. It's a beautiful country. Coming soon.
Edgar's Retirement Party
Adrian's Graduation
Photos From Weekend at Adrian's Graduation:
My 50th Birthday
My birthday was a special time. We decided to have a catered affair at a local senior center with a DJ. I was concerned as I tend to not like having larger parties and also don't like being the center of attention. But it all turned out well. The party was fun and we danced up a storm. Here are some photos from the event.
Baby Showers and Valentines

Update: Jessica and Manny had a beautiful baby girl. Rose Emma Noguera arrived into the world on the first day of spring and came in at a healthy 8 pounds, 9 ounces, and 20.5 inches long. Congratulations!

Happy Thanksgiving 2009

Rob's LifeStream
So I've set up this page through the magical use of web feed formats or RSS (Really Simple Syndication). I've actually found that it's kind of fascinating to look at the feeds in one place over time. It's just basically my streams of random thought, links to webpages I find of use and/or interesting, and also my interactions with other folks on the networks over the course of a day or days. Click the image below for a link to the page.
(Click To View)

Citizen's Bank Park Panorama
Below is a panorama shot taken from the third base line from a recent game game I attended. Despite the fact that I dislike that too many of Philadelphia fans are unruly and that the stadium is a bandbox where home runs come too easily, the stadium can still be a pleasant place to watch a game. I've taken quite a few photos there.
Panorama of Citizen's Bank Park from the 3rd base line
(Click To View)

Independence Day BBQ 2009
This past May I came up with an initial simple landscape design and met with 3 designers before choosing one to do the work. The designer did a very good job of taking my vision, making suggestions and following through with a plan. The project began in late May and was finally completed in late June after some delays due to rain. I documented the work with before, during and after photos on Facebook.
Before, during and after photos
of landscaping done in a corner of the backyard.
(Click To View Photos)

This past Saturday, July 4th, we had a BBQ party to celebrate 3 things: the completion of the landscape work, my daughter Livia's 20th birthday, and also Independence Day. A great time was had by family and friends. We enjoyed the great company. Thanks for coming! Here are the photos:
The BBQ Party.
(Click To View Photos)

Earth, Wind and Fire with Chicago
Chicago and Earth Wind and Fire Light up The Stage
(Click To View Short Video Clip)

These are still two of the most talented bands in the world and they showed it. They played many of their well-known and numerous #1 and top 10 chart hits from the 70s and 80s. The crowd (including yours truly) was up dancing and singing and grooving to the sounds. The two groups have become good friends after touring together back in 2004 and they recorded three singles together that are available for download via charity donation in a bid to raise cash for World Hunger Year. They played those three songs at the concert and they sounded great. The tracks include Chicago's cover of EWF's "I Can't Let You Go" and EWF's rendition of Chicago's "Wishing You Were Here" (this one in particular sounded awesome). The two bands also collaborated on a new song, called "You". They're also planning a whole album of new material as well.
Timber Creek Indoor Percussion
Home Show on 4-26-2009
(Click To View Video)
The indoor season ended last month for the school's ensemble and since I've been busy, I never got around to putting up some video footage that my wife and I took of some of the competitions. I finally put up the videos of the school's band performing at the 2009 events. All the young people, band members, instructors and band parents all work very hard. They do a great job and we congratulate them!
Weekend in Wildwood 2009
(Click To View Video)

Sandy's 50th Birthday
Party Photos
(Click To View Photos)

Party Video - Happy Birthday
(Click To View Video)

The New Stadiums
The New Stadiums
(Click To View)

Citi Field Panorama
Panorama of the new Citi Field from 3rd base line
(Click To View)

Dressed Up for Junior Prom
Photos
(Click To View)

The New Stadiums - Preview
Panorama of the New Yankee Stadium from behind home plate
(Click To View)

My Mom, the 1950s, and a Tale of Two Cities
When my mom and friend arrived in New York there were many Puerto Ricans, but very few Dominicans. Therefore they were very unique. Below is a photo slideshow that offers a glimpse into my mother's (and other family member's) life from the period of 1950 through 1990. I received these photos from my aunt Milagros via my niece Yennely. Thank you!
Slide Show of Mom & Family 1950-1990
(Click To View)

I decided to post the photos after recently reading both “A Tale of Two Cities: Santo Domingo and New York after 1950" by Jesse Hoffnung-Garskof and a 3-part series of book-related articles in the NY Times titled "Answers About Dominicans in New York". The book is a fascinating study of Dominican life in Santo Domingo and New York City and helped me to see my mother's courageous journey as a poor single woman emigrating to the U.S. through a different prism. She was not only my mom, but also a pioneer.
A Tale of Two Cties

(courtesy of Princeton University Press)
Happy Thanksgiving
The Party of The People I Don't Know

We aren't completely different. I work hard, love this country and believe in God and family just as much as they do, but there is still a vast and clear divide separating us. Luckily (for my family and I) more and more of America now looks much like me. In a few years I, and folks that look like me, will no longer be considered a minority.
The Republican party is generally composed of folks that favor social and fiscal conservatism and are right of center. They fervently oppose universal healthcare, oppose legal abortion, oppose same-sex marriages, mostly oppose gun control, favor capital punishment, and support continuing the Iraq war. I'm in complete disagreement with them on all the aforementioned issues.

The Political Spectrum
Courtesy of http://www.kl.oakland.edu
I inherited my allegiance to the Democratic Party from my late mother who loved John and Robert Kennedy, but although I wavered in my formative years I have come to embrace what my mother (a poor single parent doing her best just to get by) inherently understood -- that the party of FDR, JFK and RFK had our best interests in mind.
As I looked into the audience at the DNC I clearly saw more of the kinds of people that look like me and that I can understand and agree with ideologically. They were more diverse, younger, and looked and dressed more like I would. My guess is they are the kinds of people that probably know what it is to be sometimes poor and/or powerless and may have experienced those things first-hand. It is the party that understands that sometimes we all need a helping hand, that it is incumbent upon all of us to give a voice to the voiceless and power to the powerless and to always stand up for one's personal liberties.
So go ahead and try to school me on the facts behind the party's sordid past, most notably it's long-time pro-slavery and racist positions. I don't care about those things because they are in the past and are not indicative of today's Democratic party. So go ahead and call it the party for urban minorities, liberals, leftists, progressives, and federal power. I don't have a problem with all those labels, in fact I'm actually quite proud of them. They are who I am and what I represent.
My Sister-in-law Nilda
That quirky friendliness has served her well in life. She's raised 4 splendid children, three of which are college graduates while the fourth is in college. Nilda is also a school teacher and happens to be a very smart lady. She just graduated and received a master of science in education degree from the Touro College Graduate Studies Division. We are very proud of you, Nilda. Congratulations!

The Graduate

Burial At Sea

It was a beautiful hot sunny day and we met promptly on the Atlantic City Marina before 10:30 AM and the boat "The Atlantic Star" disembarked from the pier at exactly 11 AM. The yacht only holds 18 people, so only a certain few family members and friends of my mother were able to attend. The entire trip was 2 hours long. We had drinks and refreshments.
When we reached the 3 nautical mile point we stopped and my aunt read a psalm and sang my mother's favorite hymn. I then said a few words and pulled out a biodegradable urn that carried my mother's ashes. After allowing everyone to touch the urn, I placed it into the sea. Everyone then threw flowers into the ocean atop and around the urn and said our final farewells. A very nice and touching ceremony, just the way mom would have liked. I've posted some photos and videos of the event.
Vacation and the Passing of a Parent
However, I sadly don't want to talk about my vacation today. We got some bad news the day I arrived back home that has dampened our spirits. My father had a heart attack while on the plane on his way back from a vacation he was taking with his wife in Santo Domingo and he passed away shortly after the plane landed. The plane was met by paramedics, but he died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I'm obviously shocked and saddened by the news.

Teofilo Montañez
1930-2008
I felt the need to post about this very personal event here on my public blog as writing sometimes helps me to express emotions, and boy am I feeling a lot of confused emotions right now. As many of you that know me might be aware I also lost my mom to cancer about 6 months ago. It's a completely different range of emotions that I'm currently experiencing than when my mom died. The reason is that after the age of about 8 my father was never really a focal point in my life.
The fact that my parents never wed makes me as Webster's Dictionary would put it "a person born of parents not married to each other", or to use the derogatory word, a "bastard". This is an old and archaic definition that no longer really means anything significant today. The world is full of single parents and fatherless children that turn out just fine despite the challenges. Although we come from broken families my half-brother is a judge, my half-sister an attorney, and I'm a computer engineer. I think we turned out just fine despite not always having our father around and instead being raised by strong single-parent mothers.
There is no anger or resentment towards my father, I moved beyond those feelings many years ago. Instead there is a deep sadness and better understanding of his life. You see, my father taught me very valuable lessons from afar. I know fully well now that the decisions people can make while alive can have consequences way beyond the living.

Korean War Veteran
I won't get into too much more detail, but let's just say that I try to be a better husband and father because of the decisions my own father made many years ago. Instead of succumbing to the stereotypes and male frailties of yesteryear, I (and my siblings) have decided to break the chains and have grown wonderful lives and relationships with our own families. My father was not a bad man, on the contrary he was actually a very kind, quiet one that simply made some bad decisions like anyone else might have.
God bless you, Teo. I truly wish we had made more time for each other. May you rest in peace.
My Supposed Long, Lost Uncle Willie Montañez
Whenever I introduce myself to anyone over the age of 40 who also happens to be a local-area baseball fan, after they hear my last name, I am almost always asked if I'm related to the man. Maybe..... NOT. There are so many Montañez in many different towns in Puerto Rico, and there are so many Montañez descended from different countries (Mexico, Puerto Rico, Venezuela, etc.) that now reside in the U.S., that the odds are astronomical that we are even remotely related. Look in your local phone book under Montañez and you would be shocked at how may of us there are. Even if I was related, do you think I would tell you? :-)
Would I like to be related to him? Sure, from all accounts Willie Montañez was a good, productive major league baseball player and beloved by Philadelphia Phillies fans. Some dismissed him as a hot dog, but many enjoyed his slick, stylish game. The left-handed first-baseman and outfielder had a 14-year career. He hit 30 home runs his rookie year, hit over 100 RBIs one season and in other years led the National League in doubles and outfield assists.
Hey not many people can make it to the big leagues and have such a long career and good stats. Some would do anything to be able to. So let's toast and salute my distant relative Willie Montañez and his fine baseball exploits, wherever he is.

Fighting Five Year Olds on My Birthday
My son walked over to me, wished me a happy birthday and then asked me how many 5 year olds did I think he could take in a fight. I said "huh!" Well according to this weird website survey he can take out 25, while I can only take out 20. Oh, by the way, Happy Birthday to me, and if you know any 5-year-olds, make sure to keep em away from my son and I today.
All-Chapter Championships in Wildwood, NJ
Timber Creek High School's indoor percussion ensemble attended the 2008 Tournament Indoor Association's 48th annual All-Chapter Championships weekend in Wildwood, NJ. Over 200 indoor percussion and color guard units from across several states competed at the 4-day event at the Wildwood Convention Center. I put up some video of the school's band performing at the event.
All the young people (including my son Daniel who is graduating soon), band members, instructors and band parents all worked hard over the past few months and this final competition and fun weekend was the culmination of all their work. They did a great job this year and we congratulate them!
TIA Chapter 1 Championships 2008
My son Daniel's high school (Timber Creek) hosted the 2008 TIA Chapter 1 Championships for indoor percussion bands and color guard yesterday Sunday. Sixteen percussion units and 23 color guard units from across New Jersey and Pennsylvania competed. I put up some video of my son's school band performing at the event.

Bio-fuels, the Rice Shortage and Anonymous Emails
I recently posted the following snippet on my twitter:
"very concerned about rice shortage, it's a staple of most Latino and Asian diets. Many 3rd world nations face serious food shortages"
Today I received a response to my tweet about the rice shortage from someone named Roger via my website's contact form. Here is Roger's response:
On Apr 26, 2008, at 9:47 AM, Roger wrote:
Your Name: Roger
Your Email: ______@mac.com
Subject: rice shortage
Message: If you are so worried about the rice shortage, you shouldn't be voting for Obama. Have you noticed WHEN gas and food prices started going up at a ENORMOUS rate?? Try 2006, when the democrats grasped power in the US House and Senate. Why are prices high? Because of all of their rules and laws for Global Warming.
Don't get me wrong, I love the planet, I recycle, I don't litter, I try to do things to help the planet, but there is no proof MAN is making global warming, let alone there being global warming at all. I live in MN, and TODAY we got 1/2" of snow. Some places got as much as 18" and it is still snowing. TODAY there are wind chills in the TEENS here in the Twin Cities.
I don't want to get in a big political debate with you, but for every scientist you find saying there IS global warming, I can find one saying there ISN'T. But global warming is the reason for food shortages, ever hear of biograde fuels?? Soyfuel, cornfuel, that is what is doing it. People who usually grow other crops are now growing CORN in MN so they can get a lot of money from Ethanol.Just letting you know WHY we are having these global and local food shortages.
"Roger" unfortunately did not leave a correct email address and my response to his email got bounced back to me with an error (which leads me to believe that Roger probably wanted to remain anonymous). I've decided to post my response to Roger's email here on this blog:
------------------------Hi Roger,
Thanks for your email. I appreciate good discourse and discussion. It's the only way we are gonna tackle real issues in this world.
I already know why we have shortages. I'm completely aware that the bio-fuel programs for ethanol have created soaring food prices and shortages. I'm against bio-fuels, as I believe to devote agricultural land to biofuel production is a crime against the poor and hungry of our world. There are alternative technologies that do not use food products (and some that do that are less harmful) that can (and should) be pursued.
Now if I were a democrat (and I'm not aligned with any party as I feel they both have failed the American people), I could argue that the republican Bush administration didn’t consider biofuel development a threat to the poor when it plodded ahead with support of bio-fuel initiatives, but that would continue the kind of political party partisanship that gets us all in trouble in the first place.
I'm not supporting Mr. Obama because he is a democrat. On the contrary, I am voting for him because he rejects the argument you make below that it's any one party's fault. We have to tackle these issues together and stop playing the party blame game. It wastes time and keeps us from moving forward as a race --- the human race.
I disagree with you on global warming. It exists, the numbers and statistics are irrefutable, but biofuels (as currently used) are not the answer if people have to starve to death.
Regards,
Rob
P.S. I'd like your permission to post this discussion on my blog (without your email of course). Feel free to continue this conversation via the blog comments section
Roger (or anyone else) please feel free to post a comment or reply by clicking below.
Fans Fist Fight in Philly
We watched the N.Y. Mets beat the Phillies 4 to 2 at Citizen's Bank Park in Philadelphia last night. There were several fans fighting in the stands and at one point in the ninth inning the game was delayed while police carted off several fans. Many New York fans travel the 2-3 hours to watch the Mets play in Philadelphia and they tend to get tangled up with the Phillies fans all the time.

I've been to about a dozen major league baseball stadiums across the country over the years and I think Philadelphia probably has the most unruly fans I've ever seen. Many of the Phillies fans
(I've decided to strike these words as someone correctly (and anonymously via comments) pointed out the fallacy of this statement. It is indeed a rash generalization on my part driven mostly by my anger at the mistreatment that my wife and I were subjected to at the stadium during the game).
They tend to drink beer unrelentingly during the game. They start off meek, but as the game progresses and they have had more to drink they get nasty and stupid. If their team is losing they get rude, bold and abrasive. My wife is a Mets fan and was wearing her N.Y. Mets shirt. This unfortunately made her a target and I had to exhibit a lot of self-control to keep from starting a fracas of my own. You must remember that this is the same city that is famous for booing Santa Claus during a pro football game a number of years ago. The Mets-Phillies rivalry is getting very intense. It's not quite yet like Bosox-Yanks, but it is getting there. I put up some photos from the game.
Welcome to the World
Zaria Raquel Vives was born on Saturday, April 12th at 4:30 AM. She weighed in at a neat 6 pounds, 6 ounces and is 18-1/2 inches long. The baby, mom and big brother are all doing well.

Yankee Stadium's Final Season
Daniel and I went to Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, NY to watch the Yanks and the Toronto Blue Jays play the second game of the 2008 season this week. This will be the final season for the hallowed stadium as a new one is being built directly across from the old one. The new Yankee Stadium is scheduled to be ready by opening day of next season in 2009. I wanted to make sure to see at least one final game at the stadium before they tear it down and I was able to obtain some really great seats!
It was a cold night and unfortunately the Yanks lost 5-2, but we did have some fun and got to see Alex Rodriguez hit a 2-run moon shot deep into the left-centerfield seats. I put up some good photos. Enjoy!
Home Show FroHawk
My son Daniel's high school indoor percussion band had their home show today. I've visited some of their competitions this year and am posting videos here. Take a look at their performance today. Daniel had his hair cut into a "FroHawk" just for the occasion.
Danny is a senior, has excellent grades, got himself a New Jersey scholarship and is going to college, so I'm OK with it. Besides, I used to do stuff like this when I was a kid, too. At least it's not something permanent like a tatoo!

Barack Obama’s Speech on Race
Senator Barack Obama’s speech on race in Philadelphia yesterday was moving and, in my opinion, appropriately addressed an issue that many others tend to avoid or misunderstand. The issue of race permeates throughout all of America's history and palpitates at the very core of this nation's current election. His words showed that he clearly understands the historical dichotomy of race in America.
Race is an issue we as Americans must continually grapple with, and Mr. Obama in his speech, does not shy away as some other politicians would normally do, and instead chooses the more prudent approach --- attack the issue head on.
In the speech it is clear that he favors mending the deep-seated wounds of racial hatred and bringing people together as opposed to fomenting the ill will, malice, and deep-seated, centuries-old resentments many others in the seat of power in this country tend to favor. One word to describe his speech -- wow! Here is a transcript of the speech.
Timber Creek Indoor
My son Daniel's high school indoor percussion band have started their season. They will be practicing, traveling, and performing throughout March and April. They are a nice bunch of kids and seem to have a lot of fun. Danny really enjoys himself and it keeps him in shape and out of trouble. I'll be visiting some of their competitions when I can and posting videos here.
Take a look at their performance yesterday at Triton High School:

Yes, We Can
It was a really tough call for me because I like Bill and Hillary. But the way I figure it they've already had their 8 years in the White House. The current administration has led this country into an absolute mess all the while spouting a morass of lies and tepid explanations.
I've decided that after another 8 years of having a bunch of old, out-of-touch, white men in office that don't really care about my family and I, it is indeed time for a change.
Some Thoughts For The New Year
Happy new year to all my friends and family! 2007 was such a crazy year for my family and I am honestly glad to leave it behind and move on to 2008. I plan to make some cosmetic changes to this website over the next few weeks. Please take a moment to check it out and leave me a message.
Following are some thoughts from one of my favorite comedians, Mr. George Carlin, for you to consider. I think they make a lot of sense:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
HOW TO STAY YOUNG:
- Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
- Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
- Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
- Enjoy the simple things.
- Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
- The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is God & ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
- Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
- Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
- Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
- Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... who cares?
Season's Greetings and Thanks
Catholic Memorial Mass
A Catholic Memorial Mass honoring my mother will be held on Saturday, December 15th, 2007 at 11:00 A.M., St. Teresa of Avila Church, South Ozone Park, NY.
Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to attend.
Click for the address and a detailed
Map:
Rest In Peace
My beloved Mom passed away at the age of 81 after a long arduous battle with cancer. She's in heaven now and will watch over all of us. She did not want a traditional funeral or a viewing and wished to be cremated.
We are planning a Catholic memorial mass at St. Teresa in Queens. I will post the date, time and location as soon as details are finalized.
Thank you to everyone who has called and emailed offering their condolences.
My Mom: An Update
For the many friends that have called and expressed concern, here's an update: after the surgery that my mother underwent for removal of an intestinal tumor, she was found to have colon cancer. The cancer had spread quite rapidly to other areas and is inoperable.
After a long recovery from the surgery, we've now placed my mom in an excellent facility that specializes in palliative care. She is currently slowly making her way to heaven. We are trying to make sure she is comfortable and as one might imagine it has been a very difficult period for all involved. Thank you to all those that sent along kind words. Please keep her in your prayers and we'll keep you posted.
Balancing Life with an Ailing Parent
I have not written to this blog in a couple of weeks as I've been very busy tending to my ailing mom who is in the hospital awaiting surgery for removal of an intestinal tumor and severe anemia. It has been a whirlwind of doctor appointments, trips to hospitals, treatments, side effects, test results, phone calls and roller-coaster emotions. To make matters worse, while caring for my sick parent I often find it difficult to ask for help or parcel out tasks to relatives, friends or professionals. And although I bear this burden with love, caregiving is so demanding that it makes me feel a bit inadequate.
Basically I'm trying to balance love, caregiving and guilt. I understand that guilt can extract a heavy toll on the health of the caregiver -- and that would hurt everyone involved, so I am trying to be careful about my own health. I have to admit though that I'm tired and just not feeling well which is making things more difficult.

Once she leaves the hospital she will face a long period of rehab. My mom has always been very independent and I sense that it will be very difficult for her to accept our help once she recovers. I now fully understand the meaning of the “sandwich generation.” The issue has to do with trying to maintain your previous level of involvement in your kid’s lives, and continue to take care of yourselves, while taking on some of the additional responsibilities of caring for a sick parent. Sometimes there are conflicting priorities. It’s a tricky balance, and invariably you feel guilty about something or other.
Love really becomes tough when the parent/child roles are reversed and your parent becomes elderly. Knowing how to respect their freedom, maintain their dignity and yet protect them from health issues is a tricky balancing act. At worst, it can become a major confrontation, involving heated arguments and even broken relationships. Yes, you want them to remain independent and you want to honor their wishes. Parents should be able to make their own decisions for as long as possible, even decisions you might not agree with. But there’s a difference between respecting their dignity and allowing them to become victims of their failing health.
It's become time for me to begin weighing all the options for her aftercare, too, both short-term and long-term. In the short-term, she will need a recovery period and physical therapy, so at least initially we will need to find her a facility that is close by to us to give her the needed care and nursing. Long-term the decision will be about will she be well enough and healthy enough to live independently. Some people consider moving an older parent into their own home. Is this right for us? We have to weigh the needs and preferences of everyone involved.
Once again, mom is fiercely independent and does not welcome the idea of moving into our home. I think hard about how the new proximity would affect our relationships. I've begun to critique our home, too. Do we have enough space? Are the stairs a danger? What about us? Are we ready to take on caregiver duties? Are we comfortable with the idea of helping her bathe, dress, and toilet? How will this affect our jobs, school and everyday lives? Would she maybe be better off in a living arrangement that provides more care and companionship?
There are a number of options available to us based on how healthy she is: different variations on home care, assisted living, and nursing homes. The Mayo Clinic website has an excellent article on long-term care for parents. I have been researching this and luckily there are plenty of resources available to us. In the meantime, we will pray for my mom and deal with each hurdle as best we can.
Work/Life Balance
Those that may have been reading through my web log regularly, may notice that I never write about my employer or my occupation. There are actually several reasons for this. One of them has to do with my own personal wish for privacy. Another has to do with the fact that I work for a public company that may frown upon this kind of activity as the outside world may stumble upon my personal blog and misinterpret or confuse my own personal opinions about the company and/or related technologies with the official stances of my employer. This could conceivably affect their stock negatively.
Another more important reason (for me anyway) is that I prefer to maintain my life as an employee working for a major technology firm far apart from my life as father, husband, technology buff, hobbyist, and part-time blogger. This is in order to maintain a semblance of work/life balance. This website and blog are an outlet for me away from the stressful day-to-day dealings of my job.
I've been involved in computer technology for about 15 years, the last eight working in a field that is very competitive, has high stress levels and large rates of employee turnover. I more or less burned myself out once already and have come close a couple of other times. I have come to absolutely hate my job and the people involved in it, but yet continue to work in this field because it currently gives me the best ability to provide well for my family. In addition, with one kid in college and the other on the way there, it offers an opportunity at providing a good education for my children.

So what is life/work balance exactly? Basically it is your ability to sustain an even keel between the demands of work and home. In other words keeping work from invading your personal life, and trying to balance all the many responsibilities in your life. In this modern era everyone faces this issue at one point or another, but as more and more people deal with working at one or more jobs, fighting long commutes, managing a household, maybe attending school or other training, raising one or more children, responding to increasing work and time pressures of the shrinking workplace, and dealing with aging parents, the days often seem to last long into the night and vacation and leisure time seem to be consumed with issues other than relaxation and personal fulfillment. How you cope with this is work/life balance. A recent study found that 40% of employees in the U.S. are dissatisfied with the balance between their work and their personal lives.
I recently came across some tips to help achieve a better balance that I thought might be helpful if things are not going well for you:
- Negotiate a Change with Your Current Employer. Many employers recognize the value of good employees, and many are willing to find ways to help current employees deal with short-term or permanent changes caused by family situations. The changes can include flextime, job-sharing, telecommuting, or part-time employment. Your first step is to research your employer’s policies and methods of handling previous requests. Then go to your boss armed with information and a plan that shows how you will be an even more valuable and productive employee if you can modify your current work situation.
- Find a New Career. Some careers are simply more stressful and time-consuming than others. If you need more time for yourself or your family, now may be the time to explore careers that are less stressful and more flexible.
- Find a New Job. Rather than a career change, perhaps you simply need to take a less stressful job within your chosen career. This change may involve working with your current employer to identify a new position, it may involve a full job-search, or it may involve temping or becoming a consultant or starting a freelancing or other home-based business.
- Slow Down. Life is simply too short, so don’t let things pass you in a blur. Take steps to stop and enjoy the things and people around you. Schedule more time between meetings; don’t make plans for every evening or weekend, and find some ways to distance yourself from the things that are causing you the most stress.
- Learn to Better Manage Your Time. Avoid procrastination. For many people, most of the stress they feel comes from simply being disorganized -- and procrastinating. Learn to set more realistic goals and deadlines -- and then stick to them. You’ll find that not only are you less stressed, but your work will be better.
- Share the Load. Even though we may sometimes feel we’re the only ones capable of doing something, it’s usually not the case. Get your partner or other family members to help you with all your personal/family responsibilities. Taking care of the household, children, or parents should not be the responsibility of just one person.
- Let Things Go. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s simpler said than done, but learn to let things go once in a while. So what if the dishes don’t washed everyday or that the house doesn’t get vacuumed every week. Learn to recognize the things that don’t really have much impact in your life and allow yourself to let them go -- and then not beat yourself up for doing so.
- Explore Your Options. Get help. If you are feeling overwhelmed with your family responsibilities, please get help if you can afford it. Find a sitter for your children, explore options for aging parents, and seek counseling for yourself. In many cases, you have options, but you need to take the time to find them.
- Take Charge. Set priorities. Sometimes it’s easier for us to allow ourselves to feel overwhelmed rather than taking charge and developing a prioritized list of things that need to get done. You need to buck the trend. Develop a list. Set priorities. And then enjoy the satisfaction of crossing things off your list.
- Simplify. It seems human nature for just about everyone to take on too many tasks and responsibilities, to try to do too much, and to own too much. Find a way to simplify your life. Change your lifestyle. Learn to say no to requests for help. Get rid of the clutter and baggage in your house -- and your life.
In the end, you need to find the right balance that works for you. Life is a process, and so is striving for balance in your life.
Summer's End
The calendar tells us that the seasons change in mid-September, but we all know that the unofficial end to summer is Labor Day. The next few weeks will be life-changing for some folks as they start new schools, new jobs, etc. It's the beginning of one part of people's lives and the end of another, the end of vacation and the start of serious work.

For some it's a time to reflect on what has transpired and to look forward on what can be accomplished during the rest of the year, or even during the rest of one's lives. For some it is much simpler; baseball season begins to draw to a close, football begins, and the holidays approach.
I personally like living in the Northeast region of the United States, as the weather here lets you experience what are four truly distinctly different seasons. Some may argue that in many ways Mother Nature has blessed (or cursed) us with its best representation or portrayal of life. In early Spring the flowers bloom, the Summer brings warmer temperatures, and in Autumn the leaves will fall and will beckon the onset of colder weather in the Winter.
For most regions on the planet, the process is the same and begins and ends every year. Whatever the case, wherever you are in the world, as we move into the coming colder months, please stay warm in your hearts.
25 Years
My brother Tito and sister-in-law Sandy celebrated their 25th wedding aniversary this past weekend. It was a wonderful family event and lotsa love was shared and felt by all. I put up some photos and video clips.

Family Photos
Put up some family photos using the new Apple iLife '08 .Mac Web Gallery. You can even upload your own photos and subscribe to the gallery. It's very slick. Take a look!
Birthdays
We had a nice time at my brother Tito's house, where we celebrated Marcy, Angie and Tito's birthdays. I uploaded some photos to share.

Arizona Vacation
We just got back from a great vacation in Arizona. The family and I visited beautiful Sedona. Sedona is a picturesque city situated in a unique geological area characterized by massive red-rock formations that surround the city. These red-rock monoliths are named Coffeepot, Cathedral, Bell and Snoopy because their massive shapes resemble these distinctive objects. While in Sedona we briefly visited the Chapel of the Holy Cross. The Chapel was designed by Marguerite Brunswig Staude, a student of Frank Lloyd Wright. The Chapel is pretty amazing, as it has a circular ramp that ascends the red rock and then appears to rise out of the surrounding red rocks. The towering cross and the views of the awesome panorama of the valley and sky are breathtaking.
The family and I also climbed part of the way up Bell Rock, another famous Sedona landmark, which is one of the red-rock monoliths. It was an easy hike and well worth the climb. We stayed at a resort in Scottsdale called the Sunterra Resorts which was very comfortable and relaxing. We also visited the majestic and wonderful South Rim of the Grand Canyon. I've always wanted to go to the great chasm carved over millennia through the rocks of the Colorado/Arizona Plateau and finally got to do it! I put up some of great photos I took of the entire trip. Enjoy!
Celebrate Independence

Independence Day is the only holiday that celebrates the United States. It is a national holiday marked by patriotic displays like fireworks and parades. It's an opportunity to praise the nation's heritage, society, and people. Most importantly, for me personally, it's a chance to celebrate the freedoms and liberties afforded to me and my family. We are pretty lucky to live here in happiness and safety, while so many other places in the world are wrought with danger, fear and uncertainty. Let's not forget how lucky we are and give thanks.
Livia's Graduation
Congratulations to my beautiful daughter Livia who graduated from Timber Creek High School today. We are very proud of her! I put up some photos and videos of this joyful event.
Jessica |||amp; Manuel

We traveled this weekend to Hartford, Connecticut to to attend Jessica Golin and Manuel Noguera's wedding. They are a very charming couple and it was a beautiful outdoor ceremony at the Greater Hartford Boathouse followed by a fun reception. It was a long 4-hour drive, but well worth the trip as we enjoyed our time with family and friends. We stayed overnight and got back today. I just put up some nice photos of this wonderful event.
Senior Prom

My daughter Livia attended her high school senior prom last week. She looked great! She's still my pretty little girl, but boy have the years gone by quickly. Quite a long way from this 1990 video. She will be graduating from high school in a couple of weeks and beginning college in the fall!
Pedro |||amp; Nikole
My nephew Pedro Tejeda married his college sweetheart Nikole Barnes this weekend. It was a wonderful family event and lotsa love was shared and felt by all. I put up some photos .
Baby Videos
In an endless effort to embarrass my 2 kids as much as I possibly can, I put up several baby videos on the site. They are from 1990 and if you look carefully you will spot my brother and I with the obligatory 1980's afro haircuts. Ouch!
Vlad the Glad Grad
My nephew Vladimir graduated from State University of NY - Plattsburgh this past Saturday, May 12th. So we all hopped into a 12-passenger van that I rented and drove the 6 hours to upstate Plattsburgh, NY. We watched the commencement exercises and then proceeded over to Quebec, Canada for dinner an hour away at the 3 Amigos Mexican restaurant and some brief sight-seeing in downtown Montreal.
We then stayed overnight at the Cedars on The Lake cabins in Peru, NY near the university.
Cedars is a really pretty cottage nestled on the shores of Lake Champlain. We celebrated Mother's Day the next day. Very beautiful area. Other than the usual family dust-up and skirmishes (unavoidable when you cram 12 passionate Hispanic people into a confined space for several hours!), lotsa fun had by all. I put up some photos and videos from the 2-day event.
Indoor Ensemble at Wildwood
Put up another 2007 Timber Creek High School Indoor Percussion Ensemble Video. This one is of their closing performance in Wildwood, NJ over the weekend. The kids (including my son Daniel) look like they had fun. Congratulations to the students, teachers, instructors and parents on a fine season!
New Forums Area
I updated my website and added some interactivity. You can now communicate with registered users of the site and find discussions and help on various topics. in the new Forums section of my website you will find topic areas like music, art, and technology.
My Nephew Vlad Tejeda
While in college my nephew helps produce and direct a show that covers high school sports in section 7 of the northeast area of the U.S referred to as the "north country". The show is called Sports Rap Live. My nephew will also graduate from college next week and he will soon be interviewing for a job he is pursuing at ESPN, too. I'll be attending the ceremony and I'll post some photos and videos of the event as soon as I get a chance. When I was a teenager I had aspirations of becoming a sportswriter, but life took me in other directions. I'm proud of my nephew and its nice to see a family member pursue their dreams.
Timber Creek High and My Kids

My two kids attend school at Timber Creek High and they have various events and activities they are involved in. My son participates in some of the school's marching band music competitions and my daughter recently went to Disney World in Florida on the 2007 senior class trip.
Sweet 16
We attended my niece's sweet 16 birthday party this past Sunday. I put up some movies and photos from the event. Enjoy!
Top 5 Gadgets
I do own a couple of things on this list, but the rest are things I won't be getting my hands on anytime soon unless I hit the lottery. I have them on a wish list that I might be able to afford if I save up. It's a great time for technology in general as there has been a real burst of innovation occurring in the industry.
Here my list:
1) Apple iPhone:
Direct from the mouths of the fine folks in Cupertino: "iPhone combines three amazing products — a revolutionary mobile phone, a widescreen iPod with touch controls, and a breakthrough Internet communications device with desktop-class email, web browsing, maps, and searching — into one small and lightweight handheld device." "The iPhone also introduces an entirely new user interface based on a large multi-touch display and pioneering new software, letting you control everything with just your fingers." What's not to love! Apple says it will be out in June. I think it's too expensive, and will probably wait awhile.
2) Nintendo Wii:
This gaming console is not as technologically advanced as a PS3 or an XBox 360, but is arguably much more fun and definitely more affordable than the others. It's designed to attract people, regardless of their age or video game experience, to play together.

Mission accomplished. I got to play with one and it's loads of fun. Of course, we are now in the middle of March and it's almost impossible to get your hands on one! I would have bought this already if I could get my hands on one that didn't have it's price overblown because of all the demand!
3) Sony HDR-HC7 6MP MiniDV High Definition Camcorder:
This baby is capable of recording and playing back High Definition (HD).
I've wanted one of these for a year or two, but they've been way out of my price range. The consumer models are finally coming down in price a bit. Of course, now we have this whole issue about DV tape versus AVHCD for video storage. I think I'll wait for it to get sorted out before I make a purchase. It's OK, I can't afford it right now anyway!
4) Apple TV:
I think I'll just quote Apple again:
"With Apple TV, you can enjoy movies, TV shows, music, and podcasts in your iTunes library, plus photos and movie trailers, on your widescreen TV — wirelessly." Apple TV automatically grabs the digital media on your computer and makes it available for you to enjoy on your TV. Best of all, whenever you add something new in iTunes, Apple TV updates automatically. This gadget will fit in perfectly in my home theater setup. I might have my hands on one of these within 2 weeks!
5) Sony PS3:
I've had one of these game consoles for 3 months now and it's a pretty amazing system, but the games (other than Resistance: Fall of Man) haven't done anything to get me excited. The other things it does like play back Blue-ray disc movies is amazing!
I look over at the folks with the Xbox 360's and wonder if I'll ever have a game like Gears of War or Halo 3. Of course they had a year head start. Things are starting to look up as I just ordered a game called MotorStorm that might change things a bit. Also waiting on Gran Turismo HD, Final Fantasy XIII and Metal Gear Solid 4.
RapidBlogging

Tried a new utility called RapidBlog by a company called Loghound.com to synch my blogs with the ones on blogger.com and allow me to edit the blogs remotely.
It's a cool app and so far it works pretty well.
A Redesigned Website

I decided to reactivate my old www.robmontanez.com domain and also redesigned the web site. I think it looks pretty good. :) Let me know what you think!
More Photo Albums
I put up some more photo albums in the Main Picture Area. I also included some help information that explains how to view the pictures and download the entire albums for those of you that are computer novices. Enjoy!
My Old 3D Artwork

I came across some pictures of old 3D graphics I rendered way back in 1994 on an Amiga 2000 using Lightwave 3D. I put them up in the photo area here. Very simple stuff that used to take hours to make and animate, but it brought back very fond memories of when I had time for that sort of thing. Times have certainly changed!
My New Blog Area

You can subscribe to this area by using the link below with any RSS-capable web browser or RSS reader and get notified of any new postings.
P.S. That’s my daughter Livia and I.





















